Last Saturday, February 15, Sam, Mel, and I went to Opry Mills to hang out and spend Sam's birthday gift cards. I worked that morning, but it wasn't so bad after I got home because I took a great nap! It didn't matter in the end that I took a nap because I got to the mall first. While I waited I enjoyed a great slice of Godiva, double-chocolate Cheesecake and some coffee from the Starbucks store. It was so GOOD!
I'm munched away, but then wondered where Sam and Mel were. They texted me when they exited, and it had been awhile since. They were looking for a parking spot for 10 minutes, at least. I felt pretty bad because I pulled into a row and grabbed a spot about a second after I got to the mall. It was ridiculous. I listened on the phone while they hunted a spot down and Mel gave this sports play-by-play that kept me amused as they went row by row. They thought they found a spot twice and they were so excited only to be beaten to the spot by someone else and the second time the people were two rows over.
They finally got inside and we shopped around in the bookstore. We had a lot of fun. Sam had all of $3 left on her gift card for B&N. Good luck finding something that cheap! As we strolled through the aisles we came to the music section. They had books about musicians, genres in music, and other related music topics. I grabbed a book about punk music. Sheesh, no sooner than I flipped open the damn book, I land on a page that's got a chick's naughty bits covered in electrical tape. That left sided page is lieing face up on my left hand and the right side is vertical up against my right hand. Sam is looking at the right-sided page. I don't notice it because it's not in my line of sight. We both giggled like teenagers at what we saw and then this 10 year old boy walked by Sam and got all wall-eyed. Whoops! I slammed the book shut, thinking he's only seen what amounts to a chick in a bikini, but no. Sam and I talked about it and she told me there was something far worse on the other page.
I flipped through the pages, trying to find it, I can't, of course, because God hates me. Then Mel strolled up to us, fresh from the Christian Living section I might add, and wanted to know what was up. Sam, ever so delicately, told Mel that I flashed nudie pics at small children. This earned me a slap from Mel, I slapped Sam, and Sam slapped back. I didn't win that one.
I found the infamous page and it was this woman suggestivley leaning over an anatomically-correct cigarette lighter shaped like a man's naughty bits. It was very detailed, not what a young person should see. Guess who strolled by again? The same friggin' ten year old! I didn't feel so guilty, but I don't want parents to chase me down with clubs and torches, a la Frankenstein, and call me a pedophile. Not so much a good day for me.
After that it was uneventful. We walked the mall all the way around, stopped here and there to shop, and finally went home around 8pm. I got a few new shirts, Sam got smelly good stuff, and Mel got a pair of jeans that looked freakin' awesome. A very good day.
