fingers crossed behind your back

I've been doing some thinking. Not a lot, mind you, but some.

I don't think I'll ever get married. I don't mean that in a "I'll never find the right man" kind of way, but more like "I just don't see myself being married". I don't. I don't mind hanging out with guys, but when it comes to actually having someone in my life like that, I cringe.

Maybe I'm too much of a loner. I need a loner boyfriend/husband.

Maybe I'm too cynical of love.

I need an arranged marriage, a marriage of convenience. I would do very well in that situation. I need to marry for a reason, not an emotion. I need to have children or a combined bank account, not love. What's it for? What is it? If its caring for one person, then I have it in spades. I care for my family. I want them to be safe. What more is love than that?

I sure as hell don't know, but is it important? Do we need it? As babies we need to be held and touched, but is love a touch? A caress? Would a child sense love in an embrace? Would a child whither and die because he or she didn't feel love behind that pat on the head?

Does love matter? It is a word. A word that people use for many different emotions or feelings:
Compassion
Empathy
Caring
Kindness

Are these love's true meanings? We can see love through these words/actions.

Is love a façade?